I took my snowy boots off in the foyer.
Yes, I was wearing two different socks. Not different in faint shading. Not different in the colors of the stripes or toes.
One white sock and one black sock.
Why? Because I had let the laundry build into a mountainous pile over the course of the week. That morning I had two options; put on dirty socks or wear two different ones.
I only knew one woman in the room. I felt one woman’s eyes move to my feet and she offered a withering shift of her head. You know the look, one that causes you to feel yourself shrinking. Even though this is not physically possible, suddenly under that gaze you feel smaller than you once were. I tucked my bangs behind my ear, overdue for a haircut. That look and I am shifted to the outer corner of the room and not spoken to.
One white sock and one black sock.
I read two articles this past week:
From the Huffington Post What Not to Say to a Working Mom
From Rachel Held Evans Do Christians Idolize Virginity
From both, if you read through all the hundreds of comments you can make a pretty clear assumption.
Women are not very nice to one another.
I kind of always thought (or really, really hoped) this might change when you left adolescence.
We kind of like assigning other women less than signs and labels like damaged goods.
But in the comments section I love what Rachel Held Evans said, “We are more than that.”
Even when I received that shrinking glance last week, I knew I was more than that. But, the impression of that moment was difficult to shake away from my heart. I felt less than, even though I knew it wasn’t true.
How you treat other people matters so very, very much.
We should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
We should be holding one another up on this journey of life.
A journey that is not so beautiful every moment. (Hence, the socks in white and in black and various other things that make our hearts hurt.)
I heard something (always somewhere I can’t remember) that what you see and hear and read about other people is always their ‘highlights’ package, never their ‘warts and all’ package. That gave me a bit of perspective. The same is true for me. Even the picture on my avatar isn’t me!!!
Maybe I’ll change it…
I like that Diane, it’s hard not to do the highlights package
That perspective helps a lot!
I couldn’t agree more with this, Lisa. Thank you for sharing. And, as a funny side note, almost all the teens and tweens I teach actually wear two different socks on purpose!
That’s funny. I was hip and I didn’t even know it
I love that you said “We should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders.” Thanks so much for the encouragement Lisa!
You are a great example of this Ellie!
Great post Lisa! So true – women encouraging each other is so so important. And I love that God whisper ‘you are more that that’ – need to carry that one in my back pocket. =)
I loved that too, we are more than that
That is one to carry with us.
Great post, Lisa! We women are way too critical of each other; this is a much needed reminder to be aware of how we think about each other and especially how we talk about each other!
So true Shirley, we have the power to really change circumstances just by choosing encouragement over being critical!
I am constantly reminding my kids to think about how they use their powers–for good or not for good. And constantly reminding them of all the super powers they have–such as the ability to change someone’s day or make them smile or make them feel sad. But I forget sometimes that I have powers too and if I am not using them for good…then what am I doing?
I love that we do have super powers. It’s so important for us to model that for our kids
Another friend just posted this link and the cover photo reminded me of your story! http://www.jillsavage.org/?p=5022
That looks like a great book, thanks! Maybe a future giveaway?
As a mom of four young children, I belong to a MOPS group with other mommies in the same stage of life – and I have to say that just showing up at MOPS (and not always on time!) is a feat I admire in any woman. Whether she has two different socks on her feet, or poop stains from dirty diapers on her shirt, I’m just so happy she made it. I think (and hope) that our generation is a little different. I hope we’re coming to a place where the highest expectation we place on people is to just be themselves. No pretense. No highlights. Just them. At MOPS we actually celebrate all the high and lows of motherhood. We have a time called: “That’s life” where we ask questions and get a raise of hands to see who is really living life. We ask questions like: who hasn’t showered this week? who has dirty dishes in their sink from last night, or last week? who hasn’t taken down their Christmas (or Thanksgiving) decorations yet? We want women to look around the room at all those raised hands and realize she’s not in this alone.
MOPS is a great program. Thanks for sharing this, it’s important for us to raise our hands and admit that we are living real life! When we look around and see we have others right with us, that changes everything, I think
Thanks for the good reminder. i think that’s why i love the quote, “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
on a semi-related note- i once knew this pastor’s wife who baked a two layer cake- one layer chocolate and one layer vanilla. she called it her “reconciliation” cake. for some reason, that reminded me of your socks.
maybe next time you can just tell them you’re wearing reconciliation socks. 
Perfect quote! I love the cake idea. You guys are so smart!
My girls wear two different socks all the time! Oh, and my Christmas tree is still up! (one of these days……) Celebrate your uniqueness!
I love it! Thanks
Long ago at a conference the presenter made the statement that people do not always remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel. That has always stuck in the back of my mind as being such a true statement!
I really, really like that!